Dads: Your Children Honoring Mom Starts With You


By Dillon Schupp

It’s Mother’s Day this week, which means life is- and should be- all about Mom.

Guys: this is official notice: if you haven’t planned something special for the mother of your children, now is your opportunity! Don’t blow it…and don’t cheap out on her while you spend a lot of money at Lowes…just saying.

Since I’ve become a parent, Mother’s Day is even more special now as it’s a chance for me to treat my wife and honor her just simply because she is a mom, and I’m looking forward to the day when our son (just a little over a year old now) is old enough to understand the importance of Mother’s Day and can plan his own special treat for his mom (though I don’t want that time to get here too quickly and it’s already going by fast enough!). Almost more than anything else I want for my son, I want him to honor his mom. Not just on Mother’s Day, but throughout the year.

Dads- we instinctively want that, right? We know it’s the right thing for our children to do. We expect them to show respect to their mom, to be polite, and to treat her with all the kindness and honor she deserves.

But here’s the thing, dads: If we aren’t showing our wife the honor she deserves in the first place, it is thoroughly unrealistic to expect our kids to honor her either.

So, Dad…how are you treating your wife?

Do you always speak kindly…or do you frequently speak out of irritation, anger, or impatience?

Are you gentle…or are you harsh?

Do you put her needs first…or do you consistently prioritize what you want over what she desires?

Do you speak well about her in front of your children when she’s not around…or do you take that opportunity to vent and gripe about her?

Dads: how we treat our wives is going to be mirrored by the way our children treat her, because- as I’m learning with a small child- kids are masters of imitation. And what they see is what they will do regardless of what we tell them to do.

Simply put: The degree to which you, Dad, honor your wife is going to be the degree to which your children do the same.

Are there exceptions? Sure- we can treat our wives well and our kids may still not honor her- especially as they age and become more independent.

However: if we consistently dishonor our wives, it is all but certain our children will do the same, because we cannot expect our kids to do something we will not do.

So, Dad: this Mother’s Day, go all out for your wife. Do something special. Make it awesome. Help your kids do something for her as well.

But what will matter so much more to her is if you choose to honor her throughout the year in the way you treat her. 

And if you want your children to honor her on more than Mother’s Day, it’s going to certainly start with you.


Dillon Schupp serves on the pastoral team at LifeSpring Church in Smithfield and is the author of 180: Becoming the New You.


  1. Ephesians 5

    25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

  2. “Don’t blow it…and don’t cheap out on her while you spend a lot of money at Lowes…just saying.”

    Psssh… please… my wife spends twice as much at Lowes’ than I do

  3. This is terrific advice for parents who are married, however Many fathers are not married to the mother of their children but should still honor her as such, especially on mother’s day. Unfortunately this particular post leaves many parenting situations out completely. Like my own.

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